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But freedom is but a taste of chaos you'll meet.
Are you ready for the pain and loss of retreat?
You'll see-- that swimming at your feet.
Is all the hate and pain that won't let us be.
But you see-
If we want to be free,
Its just a matter of letting me be me

and you be you, and every one goes to hell.
Ring a bell
For the souls who fell,
for giving in to things to terrible to tell.

If lifes all about living the love.
The let bad be bad.
Who cares if it makes us glad?
For if you ever had,
That moment of joy,
That pleasure toy-

You'd know it'd never matter, so shatter, the illusions of moral delusion that blind you to the love that you could never refuse.
Forget that you hate everything that you hate, cause fate is turning, like a breaker churning, leaving you yearning for thing that made love go mad, cause its all about living the badh.
©2004-2010 ~Gods-Jester
:icongods-jester:

Author's Comments

This was originally a comment I wrote in response to another poem by kamisch42 called Badh Love <[link] which was amazing in itself. I suggest you read this one, as mine begins where this leaves off.

This was my attempt at writing rap. Its not meant to be gangster or crap like that, but I tried to grab that rythm so hopefully you can find the flow. It is written to be put to music but its not very long, so its unlikely you'll be seeing the CD anytime soon. Enjoy.

Comments


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:iconballetbabymari:
Firstly I love the rhyme scheme, but the rhythm is quite rough... maybe that's meant to contribute to the overall feel, but i dunno about it.
The last stanza has very clever rhyming, again. This is one of the best examples of rhymes that contribute to flow that i've read in a while.
well written.

--
[link]
:icongods-jester:
I wasn't to structured with rhythm this time because I wrote it off the hook, but basically I tried to emulate a rapper. Listen to say, Eminem freestyling and imagine that. Dont take a long break until the next line. So the last two lines are said really fast, while the previous ones are a bit more broken. And run over the words, emphasizing the ones that rhyme, and hopefully that'll bring out the rhytm. Of course, its not patterned or predictable, but I don't think I'm capable of that quite yet. :smile:

--
-----------------
"Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I shall fear no evil, for You beside me
you rod and staff comfort me, and I shall spend all my days,
in the house of the Lord." - Abridged Version
-----------------
:iconmagpie2:
The link doesn't work. I quite like it; it's got a very... straight from the heart in a moment-ish feeling.

--
<Riku> why is they then say no justu i if it is a jutsu===
:iconkalkie:
Linkie no work. grr...
your poem> sweet. Yes the last lines are a clincher.

--
2 Times One Half=my comic.
And other comics
:iconkamisch42:
Here ya go...here's the link to mine :D Sorry it took so long, I didn't realize this was here! :glomp: Thanks!!!

"Badh Love"
[link]

--
Love once, laugh twice, life keeps on rolling...

Details

May 17, 2004
1.0 KB

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